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Star Trek Into Darkness

(First, a warning: There’s no way to really discuss this film without spoilers. I’ll start without them, but I’ll give a final warning. And now, off to the races we go...)

I’ve been a Trekkie since we snobbishly referred to ourselves as Trekkers. I actually watched the premier episode waaay back in 1966. I’m the father that J.J. Abrams, producer and director of the new films, refers to when he says, “This isn’t your father’s Star Trek.” Despite that, I was able to enjoy his 2009 reboot of Star Trek. It wasn’t Star Trek, mind you, but rather a clever rendition of Abrams’ preferred series, Star Wars. As a Star Wars film called Star Trek, it was all right; a standard, by-the-numbers space action film. Dumb as a bowl of mice, but at least the mice were entertaining.

Star Trek Into Darkness (STID) isn’t that good. The mice have left the bowl. It’s grossly unfair to call it a terrible film, but it’s definitely a bad film.

STID takes place roughly one year after the events of the last film. As the film starts, New Kirk & Co. are surveying a primitive culture on an alien planet, which affords Kirk the opportunity to do what he does best, i.e., completely ignore the Prime Directive (thou shalt not interfere with primitive cultures). Upon returning to Earth, he is shocked, shocked, I say, that Spock has filed a truthful report about this, nailing Kirk as a liar. Thus in his shocked state, Kirk is stripped of his command (which he never should have had, but I digress) and reassigned as first officer under the command of Rear Admiral Christopher Pike.

This demotion lasts for about five minutes.

A villainous villain named John Harrison, a member of Starfleet, has blown up what is reputedly a library in London. This prompts Starfleet to gather any and all senior fleet commanders into one big room with even bigger windows, which is what our villain wanted as he flies up outside and opens fire. He gets away, despite Kirk’s best efforts with a fire hose.

Kirk wants revenge, which is all Starfleet Admiral Alexander Marcus needs to hear to give the Enterprise back to Kirk. Kirk’s orders are pretty straight-forward: Go Kill Harrison. And so the meat of the movie begins.

The same actors are back in all the key roles, and again Simon Pegg (as Scotty) and Karl Urban (as McCoy) are stand-outs. Bruce Greenwood’s Admiral Pike simply owns the film when he’s on screen. Peter Weller, as Admiral Marcus, chews scenery. Alice Eve, as Carol Marcus, appears to have no purpose other than pose for a gratuitous shot of her in her underwear.

Zachary Quinto continues to be all right as Spock, only here he’s made stupid; not the actor’s fault, he’s written that way. Chris Pine remains a weak-sauce rendition of Kirk, and I was disappointed in Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance as Harrison. Most of the time he’s simply awesome, menacing in an almost quiet way, but at other times he’s teaching Weller how to chew scenery.

ILM’s visual effects are, not surprisingly, flawless. Michael Giacchino’s score feels repetitious of what he did the last time, but just when I think that he comes up with an awesome, new theme and reminds me why I always buy his soundtracks.

There is not an ounce of subtlety to the film’s analogies with the war on terror, right down to remote drone strikes, and that’s all right as far as it goes. Despite a bevy of stupid details, up until roughly the halfway point, STID at least lived up to the tradition of Trek dealing with modern issues in a science fiction universe. Up until that point, I had been won over and was actually enjoying the film.

Then the entire film lurches into the galaxy of stupid. Plot hole after plot hole opens up and stupid move after stupid move is made. By the end, I was just frustrated, more than a little angry, and I can’t say I ever want to see it again, let alone own it when it comes out on Blu-Ray.

To understand why, spoilers from here all the way down.

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Final warning, spoilers inbound...

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You have been warned.

Rather than bombard the area where Harrison is supposed to be hiding, Kirk opts to swoop in and arrest the dreaded bad guy. Kirk brings Harrison back to the Enterprise, where it is revealed that his real name is...dramatic pause... Khan. Yes, the Khan, The Wrath of Khan Khan, the villain we all expected to be in this film despite Abrams swearing on the soul of his mother that the film’s villain wasn’t Khan. Liar!

This move demonstrates in a loud and profound manner the writers’ complete lack of imagination. They already had the foundation of a new villain who might not actually be a villain. Issues regarding Admiral Marcus are brought up, there’s more than meets the eye, etc. The film goes back and forth as to who the real villain is, Harrison Khan or Marcus. Sure, it might have ended up as something along the lines of Space Bourne Identity Crisis, but it would have had the benefit of continuing the war on terror analogy. Better still, it would have been something (relatively) new. In short, there was absolutely no reason for Harrison to become Khan.

But that’s what happens and any hope for originality twists off into the stellar breeze. Plot holes begin yawning open, threatening the stability of the projection screen, if not the theater itself. Everyone’s IQ plunges, and they weren’t all that high to begin with. The moment Harrison says he’s Khan, you’d think Our Heroes would take a moment to learn more about him. After all, he's in the history books. Nope. Everyone just nods, goes, “Hmm,” and resumes business as usual.

And so it goes. The story ceases to move along as a story. Rather, it lurches from set piece to set piece. To facilitate the dual villains plotline, Khan goes from villain to hero to villain to hero to villain not because that’s his character but because the plot requires him to.

There’s a parade of fan service throughout the last third of the film, which just feels like pandering, especially when it takes over the plot. Especially when this film steals the iconic moment from The Wrath of Khan when Spock dies saving the Enterprise. Only this time it’s Kirk and we have Spock screaming, “Khhhaaannn!!!” In TWoK, Spock’s death brought the audience to tears because of fifteen years of history with these characters and because he was really, truly, completely dead (albeit, until the next film). Here, we are warned twice that there’s a magical way for Kirk to be brought back to life, so his death is beyond meaningless. It’s a cheap gimmick and nothing more.

But then, Abrams & Co. are masters of cheap gimmicks.

Star Trek was an adventure series that often tackled current events within its science fiction framework. The best Trek always did just that. This film teased that it might have gone that route, but in the end, Abrams reduces Trek to just another big, loud, brain-dead action film.

Star Wars fans, you have been warned.

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