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Showing posts from April, 2012

Troy, the Director’s Gutting

Troy (2004) often gets a bum rap. Sure, it’s silly, pretentious, and it takes the entire notion of Greek gods and tosses them into the Aegean, but all that not withstanding, it’s a decent swords-and-sandals epic. The fable of Troy is one of those stories that most people simply grow up with, absorbing it through their pores until they can recite at least one major point by heart: always look a gift horse in the mouth. Any number of people can recite “Is this the face that launched a thousand ships...?” The film recounts the star-crossed lovers Paris (Orlando Bloom, ugh), prince of Troy, and Helen (Diane Kruger, sigh), wife of Spartan king Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson, hurrah). Paris smuggles Helen back with him to Troy, and the cuckolded Menelaus goes to his brother, big Greek King Agamemnon (Brian Cox, double hurrah) and whines. Agamemnon is actually overjoyed at this turn of events, since he’s bent on conquering the known world and didn’t like the peace treaty between Sparta and Troy.…

Rehashed: Titanic

Do not think for a second that I will spend a dime going to see Titanic in 3-D. Ain’t happening. I just thought I’d take advantage of its reissue in its new form to review the film, because the only item of substance changed was a starfield. The most memorable ship in human history is the Titanic. If you know nothing about maritime history, shipping, ships, or crossing any water wide than a puddle on the sidewalk, chances are you’ll still know the name Titanic. Arguably the finest ships of the time, she set sail from Southampton, England, on April 10, 1912, bound for New York City on her maiden voyage. She and over 1,500 of her passengers and crew (out of over 2,200) never arrived. The story is the stuff of legend. The Titanic was “unsinkable.” She was the very latest statement for luxury travel. It was her maiden voyage. The cream of English and American society were on board. The finest employees of the White Star Line were assigned to work on the Titanic. The ship’s designer, the o…