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DVD: The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

Awful.

The film is an environmentalist wacko wet dream. No one else could like this thing. I’m trying to think of something positive and all I can come up with is how positively awful it is.

The original The Day the Earth Stood Still is a science fiction masterpiece. In it, Klaatu comes to Earth with a simple message: Do what you want among yourselves and on your planet. But if you attempt to export your violent way to the stars, Gort and his friends will hit you with so many lefts you’ll beg for a right. (Gort being the cosmic version of Chuck Norris, you see.)

The ultimate warning was that we needed to change our violent ways if we expected to be accepted among the stars. In this remake, the aliens are environmental busy-bodies who have bought into the entire notion that we puny little humans are capable of destroying the planet. Therefore, we must be eliminated so that the planet, for God knows what reason, can try again.

To count the ways in which this film makes no sense whatsoever would: 1) require massive spoilers. And 2) be pointless. Suffice to say that you have to check your brain at the door before watching. Even then, since this wants to be a semi-intellectual film, it keeps tricking your brain into becoming involved. And then your brain suffers a seizure.

One small example: In one scene, Klaatu kills a cop, only to resurrect him a moment later. A few minutes after that, though, he knocks two helicopters out of the sky, killing the aircrews. Here, he turns his back and walks away without so much as an, “Excuse me.” Not that saving anyone makes any sense because pretty early on it’s clear that Klaatu’s real message is, “Die, die, kill you all!”

Matters aren’t helped by the acting. This was a role Keanu Reeves was meant for, because it required all the emotional depth of a plank. Okay, maybe it was a bit of a stretch for him. Yet he not only appears wooden and remote, he exudes an air of “I’m just here for the paycheck.”

Jennifer Connelly does a fine job filling out a pair of jeans, but beyond that she’s wasted. And speaking of waste, where did they get her “son”? More to the point: Why did they get her “son”?

I’m going to stop now because thinking any more about this film is liable to give me an aneurism.

Comments

Christian Toto said…
You're so right ... my initial viewing failed to spot the countless flaws in the film. It's the kind of movie that simply disintegrates upon inspection.
April 10, 2009 at 10:05 AM
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