Skip to main content

Go, Speed Racer, Gooooooo!

Newly released on DVD, freshly available from Netflix, now overtaxing my ancient television, Speed Racer. At first glance this is an odd film for the Wachowski Brothers to pick as their follow-up to their Matrix trilogy. However, even a cursory look at those films would reveal a certain love not just for Japanese martial arts, but for Japanese animation (anime).

So here he comes, here comes Speed Racer, a film which attempts to be wholly original by taking a cartoon world and turning it into a flesh and blood spectacle. You say this has been tried before, but never to this extent. Most comic-to-film adaptations make some concession, or concessions, to reality. An easy example is Batman. Take a look at the comic Batman’s costume and compare it to any of the big-screen adaptations. From ninja tights to armored suit, which is stupid (as Moviebob very aptly pointed out).

Speed Racer, the film, makes no concessions. This is anime brought to life. Everything is bright and garish, every scene pops with an unreal color intensity. There is no attempt to subdue appearances for the sake of reality. From the first frame it is clear that this film will go no where near reality, that it will be merrily content to create its own sense of reality.

It comes damn close to working. Dirty Harry made this observation in his review of the theatrical release. That’s why I wanted to see the film, and now I find I agree. The style of Speed Racer is near-brilliant, and it’s consistent. Scene after scene is pure outlandish behavior. Everyone acts over-the-top, while at the same time the world they inhabit is deliciously over-the-top. Oh it comes so damn close to working.

But it doesn’t. I had to watch the film over two nights because the lights, color, motion, etc., made my head ache. I can’t imagine what this must have been like in a theatre. I’m not given to motion sickness when watching a film (though sitting in a car at a drive-in watching the car chase in Bullitt came close). Cloverfield didn’t make me retch, not at the theatre or during subsequent viewings on DVD, though it tried real, real hard. Yet here, for Speed, my eyes simply had to shut it out.

That I could successfully watch this over two nights illustrates the film’s real major flaw. The plot, to put it gently, sucks. Zero involvement with the characters, zero buy-in for the stakes at hand, zero “give a damn” factor all around. I found a convenient place to pause, did so, and went to bed without one whisper of an idea of thinking about considering a rumination of concern as to what would happen next. I just didn’t care.

Part of the reason I didn’t care is that it’s established right from the beginning that the laws of physics simply don’t apply. Further, drivers can suffer horrific crashes, get encased in bubbles, and simply pop out for a safe, injury-free landing. Since cars can now do anything -- even fighting each other -- and regardless of what that anything is no one will get hurt, please tell me why I should give a hoot? There is not even a twinge of threat, ever.

I understand that this, even with a PG rating, was meant to be a kid’s film, but arguably so was Transformers, yet people get squished throughout that film. Complaints about cinematic style aside, when a rocket hit someone in Transformers that person or thing was reduced to components. Dead components, at that.

And if you got lost during the action sequences in Transformers, you stand no chance during Speed Racer. So much color is swirling about while people squeal, tires shriek, engines bellow, that it's all reduced to a mind-numbing blur.

The film is deliriously silly in its underlying politics and economics. I love that the Racer family wants to be independent, sponsor free, but where in the hell does Pops get all his funding from? Sure, this was never discussed in the TV series, but there you got to see Speed & Family win lots of races with fat monetary prizes. Here...?

For crying out loud, does every single big budget film made have to slam capitalism and Big Business? Is it some secret code within the WGA, DGA, MPAA, etc.? Can’t the villains in this sort of film just once, just once, just be independent villains? Do we always have to paint Big Business as wearing waxed mustaches, busily twirling the ends and sneering?

Cast and casting is perfectly fine. I thought Emile Hirsch as Speed would drive me nuts, but he’s all right. Christina Ricci as Trixie, John Goodman as Pops, and even Susan Sarandon as Mom, were each an inspired choice. Spritle and Chim Chim drove me nuts, but they drove me nuts when I was a kid watching the TV series. Roger Allam is apparently the W brothers go-to guy for scenery-chewing villain, almost reprising his villainous villainy from V for Vendetta.

Oh, and Cosma Shiva Hagen (awesome name) as Gennie, Allam's assistant, is just amazingly easy on the eyes. I was transfixed by one shot of just her calves as she waits for Speed, watching her calve muscles twitch as she stands there in those high heels. As mesmerizing as any CGI effects shot in the entire film.

As said, the film is outstanding in creating its unreal reality. I completely bought into a time and place with huge, outlandish racetracks, with the very notion of a World Racing League. A world where billions watch every race with an intensity that even Obama fans can’t match.

Add some danger to that world, craft an actual plot, give us characters that are driven by that plot and threatened by that danger...oh, what could have been.

In the end, Speed Racer is a magnificent failure. If your eyes can stand it, it’s worth the look. Wear sunglasses, take some Dramamine and aspirin. I’d love to say that the effort pays off, but it doesn’t, at least not well. However, in this film era of cookie-cutter "creations," if you’re a film buff you should at least check out a film attempting to be something very, very different.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

DVD: The Descent

While waiting for the fourth disk of season 4 of House to arrive, I watched The Descent . This movie has been out on DVD for a while, so why bring it up now? Because I think I might become a fan of its writer-director, Neil Marshall . His latest is Doomsday , recently released on DVD, and while it’s sort of a mess, it’s a mess in that oh-fun-what-the-heck-let’s-shoot-a-Bentley-through-a-bus sort of way. The Descent is a different sort of animal. Prepare for spoilers. Since this film has been out for a while, I’m going to feel free to reveal. The setup is simple: Six friends go spelunking, complications ensue. Basic complications involve Sarah and Juno. Sarah is an emotional wreck following the rather horrible and tragic deaths of her husband and daughter (this trip is seen as therapy , oh my). Juno is a reckless thrill-seeker who leads an unknowing Sarah and friends into a cave no one has – publicly, at least – ever explored. All goes horribly wrong, of course, leaving the six

John Wick: Chapter 4

No sense in playing coy, this is a great film. I’ve seen it twice and while I don’t quite love it in the way I love the first, original John Wick , it’s my #2. It’s a little overlong, has some wasted space and time, has one absolutely pointless and useless character, and generally ignores the realities of firefights, falling, getting shot, hit, etc. All that notwithstanding, it’s a great action flick, has a genuine emotional core, and is well worth your time if you’re into that sort of thing. Like I am. Summary: John Wick (Keanu Reeves), last seen saying he was fed up with the High Table, goes to war to obtain his freedom. Some of the most incredible action scenes ever filmed ensue, culminating in a very satisfactory finale and a devastating post-credit scene. The first Wick film was a surprise hit. It was a simple, straight-forward tale of vengeance told in a simple, straight-forward manner. Where it stood out was its devotion to human stunt work, on exploiting long camera shots that

Dune Part 2 (2024)

I have come not to praise Dune but to bury it. I am in a distinct minority. So be it. To explain why, there will be some minor spoilers ahead; sorry. The short version is #NotMyDune. Summary: Picking up where Dune Part 1 left off, we find the young Paul Atreides (Timothée Chalamet) hanging out with the Fremen. Plots to overthrow rival houses and empires ensue. Go here to see what I thought about Dune Part 1 (2021) . Overall, I found it to be technically brilliant, but lacking a human heart, an exercise in frenetic slow motion. D2 is more of the same, though with far more action. Acting-wise, everyone is doing a fine, more than adequate job. Absolutely no one or nothing stands out. The way the characters are written (adapted, actually), their back and forths and interactions, are all weak and unengaging. I generally hate when they speak. I've read the novel a ridiculous number of times, and these films are prompting me to read it again. I understand that trying to translate the n