Stop Frame

An unmitigated disaster of a film, possibly the worst in the entire series and yes, that includes the prequels. Some of the worst filmmaking I’ve ever seen, dreadful in almost every single way imaginable. After two viewings, and probably a third to come (oh, the joy of family obligations) it just keeps getting worse somehow. Summary: It’s some unspecified time after the events of The Last Jedi . The Emperor returns! McGuffins abound! A dizzying series of cuts and edits ensues. For all it’s many faults, The Last Jedi was at least a well-made film (design, cinematography, editing, etc.). TRoS  establishes that Rian Johnson is a vastly superior filmmaker when compared to JJ Abrams, who is less a hack than a hack-and-slasher. The opening act of TRoS is terrible, a bewildering series of cuts that leaves you numb. There’s hardly a moment when a shot remains on screen long enough to establish what you’re looking at before you’re yanked away to something else. It’s almost as though A...

Apparently I’m on this epic quest for the perfect portable device. Something that is more than a phone but capable of being grabbed at a moment’s notice and taken on the road. This device should allow me to read books, watch video, check email, and write stuff. While a phone can handle all of this, it’s not the best solution. Yes, there’s a Kindle app but the screen, even on my Samsung Galaxy S10+, seems small (I recognize how insane that sounds). Same thing with the other items on my list, other than email, for which my phone suffices 99% of the time. And so I explore tablets. The obvious choice, and one that will probably suit the majority of people, is an Apple iPad. But before I dove into that pool, I tried cheap, and that meant an Amazon Fire HD 10 (2017). For $150, plus cost for case and a portable Bluetooth keyboard, this was a steal. It worked well..for a while. What happened was Amazon’s curated app store. Suddenly, Microsoft OneNote stopped working. Who was respons...

So, Alita, Battle Angel , is now out so let’s talk about the horror that was, is, and shall ever be Captain Marvel . Vers (nee Carol Danvers, played by Brie Larson), a mighty Kree heroic warrior, finds herself dumped on Earth during the 1990s. She pursues the Skrulls who dumped her there and who may be plotting the destruction of humanity. But are they…? A snooze-fest, the worst film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ensues. I had my doubts about this film from the moment I heard that Brie Larson was cast for the titular role. People are going to leap on that as evidence of misogyny, prejudice, sexism, whatever. Fact is, while I was aware of the amount of vitriol pouring out about Larson, as well as the things she was saying, I never read those articles, only the headlines (which, in my Flipboard feed, were kind of hard to avoid). No, I had my doubts based on her prior performances in two action films, Free Fire and Kong: Skull Island . She’s a fine actress in dramatic roles, m...

I don’t want to write this. I want to write about Avengers: Endgame , but in order to do that properly I need to first rave about Avengers: Infinity War and try to write something vaguely polite about Captain (Un)Marvel(ous) . That’s a lot to unravel, so I guess I really do want to write about the self-immolation that is HBO’s Game of Thrones . Warning: SPOILERS. GoT was addictive from the prologue of the first episode, which immediately set up the central conflict of the show being humanity’s conflict with what we would come to call White Walkers. This was ignored for the rest of the first season, but that was all right because we met a slew of fascinating characters, including a doomed hero (Eddard Stark), a bastard (Jon Snow), a tomboy (Arya), a ditzy blonde (Daenerys), an insane blonde (Cersei), and a too-clever-for-his-own-good dwarf (Tyrion). There were others, sure, but let’s stay focused here. Over the course of ten episodes, we learned where each stood and a new conflict...

So of course, I no sooner write that I don’t own an iOS device than, voila, I buy an iOS device. The iPad Pro 10.5, complete with Smart Keyboard Cover. Which I’m using right now for the first time. The keyboard, not the iPad. It’s going to take some getting used to...

So, I saw this article... Why I'm Quitting Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Facebook, and Apple for a Month ...which led to this article... Tech’s Frightful Five: They’ve Got Us ...and while I think both are overwrought, they did get me to thinking. Which, if any, of the "Big Five" could I live without? And, assuming I actually use one of their products, which could I give up? So, here's the list (alphabetical order): Amazon Apple Facebook Google Microsoft Could I give them up? Well, as a first guess, no, but some I could toss or cut back on. The first to go is, actually, Apple. I don't use their products at all. The only Apple product I own is a fourth generation iPod Touch, and it currently resides in the drawer near my right elbow. iTunes isn't installed on any of my computers; any songs I've ever purchased from them are already downloaded and that's pretty much that. Voila, I'm down to "The Big Four." As much as possible...

This? This is what was judged to be the Best Picture of 2017? This is the (arguably) science fiction film that finally won the big prize? This...creature (which is totally not from the Black Lagoon)? This?!? Let me be clear: The Shape of Water isn't just an awful film, it's Guillermo del Toro's worst. That's right, I think Mimic is better than The Shape of Water . It's 1963 and a strange creature is brought to a strange lab where strange things transpire. The creature attracts the attention of a mute cleaning lady, and the attraction proves to be mutual. Fishy matters ensue. As with all del Toro films, the design of The Shape of Water is gorgeous (except for creature himself; he's little more than a make-up job for Abe Sapien from del Toro's Hellboy films). The cinematography is well nigh perfect. As the mute cleaning lady Elisa Esposito, Sally Hawkins does a fantastic job, a gentle performance that stands out all the more due to the dreadful writi...