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The Shape of Water

This? This is what was judged to be the Best Picture of 2017? This is the (arguably) science fiction film that finally won the big prize? This...creature (which is totally not from the Black Lagoon)? This?!? Let me be clear: The Shape of Water isn't just an awful film, it's Guillermo del Toro's worst. That's right, I think Mimic is better than The Shape of Water.

It's 1963 and a strange creature is brought to a strange lab where strange things transpire. The creature attracts the attention of a mute cleaning lady, and the attraction proves to be mutual. Fishy matters ensue.

As with all del Toro films, the design of The Shape of Water is gorgeous (except for creature himself; he's little more than a make-up job for Abe Sapien from del Toro's Hellboy films). The cinematography is well nigh perfect. As the mute cleaning lady Elisa Esposito, Sally Hawkins does a fantastic job, a gentle performance that stands out all the more due to the dreadful writing she has to contend with.

I'm done with things I actually enjoyed. The rest of the film is a wreck. To say that it's heavy handed is to judge that a sledge hammer delivers the gentle touches of a butterfly's wings. The film pounds out its virtue signals.

Elisa's roommate and main assistant in helping her is, of course, gay. Her cohort at work is, of course, a black woman. And the one scientist who is sympathetic is, of course, a Soviet spy. Every other single human being in this film is either a blank nothing or downright evil; you can either ignore them or you are encouraged to loathe them. There is no gray, there is doubt, they are vile and you are reprehensible if this causes you angst.

The villain (he's too rotten to merely be referred to as antagonist) of the film is evil military agent Strickland, played by Michael Shannon. If he had a mustache he could twirl, it would have actually been an improvement. Seeing him in the trailers is the reason I had no interest in seeing this film at the theatre. Having now seen the film, I realize I made the correct choice.

Strickland is like this because...Bible? He treats everyone with contempt because...reasons. He tortures the creature he helped capture because...plot.

Strickland lacks even a single molecule of human decency. He's a bigot who treats women as cattle and "the help" as lower than the dog crap he steps in. It's sort of implied that he's pretty good at security, yet he overlooks Elisa and her friend as potential suspects because it's impossible for cleaning ladies to be involved. Which is stupid. This is a stupid way of making the point, that someone can be so elite that they can't even conceive of a cleaning lady of being capable of any independent thought or action. This isn't an original concept (egads, look all the way back to Nine to Five for a better example). This stupidity is indicative of the entire film.

Strickland ends up being a buffoon. Because he's a buffoon, as with the First Order in the current Star Wars films, it's impossible to see him as a genuine threat. The moment you meet him, how the film will end becomes a foregone conclusion, with all tension and suspense never standing a chance at even getting established.

It's as though it's now impossible to make a film with any sense of nuance. The villains must be EVIL (yes, all uppercase, shouting this fact at you) and the heroes, er, heroines, must be FANTASTIC (again, shouting at you their virtuous virtue of virtuosity). No quarter is considered, none is given. How very Manichaean.

No one feels real, there's no one to relate to, to identify with. Octavia Spencer, as Elisa's cleaning lady buddy Zelda, tries, but the script and all the characters around her make it impossible for her to succeed.

The Shape of Water isn't the only film with this affliction, it's a poison killing the entire industry. But it's depressing to see del Toro sink to this depth. I don't believe any of his previous films tried to make things so black and white, so cut and dry. Hell, that was true even of Blade II (love that film).

And since "that which is rewarded is repeated," I expect this is how he'll make films from here on out.

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