Southland Tales is that special movie that made me appreciate all the more the subtle charms, intense relationships, tight plotting, and vivid characters of Dragon Wars.
It would be easy to dismiss Southland as an extreme example of what happens when filmmakers succumb to Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS), but that would be giving them an easy out. No, Southland is the result of a writer-director ego gone wild, serving only itself, and refusing to actually, you know, make a film. D-Wars has more respect for the audience, and D-Wars, just for the records, stank on ice.
Southland is from Richard Kelly, the same man who brought us Donnie Darko, a movie which kept you trying to figure out what the in hell is going on right up until then end, when all very neatly came together. Whether Donnie worked for you or not (and it did for me), it tried to tie everything up. In Southland, Kelly plainly didn't give a crap. Anyone reading deeper meaning into anything within this film is exercising their own imagination because Kelly couldn't be bothered. And God bless you for trying, because it's a shame that he couldn't be bothered. I don't mind dense films, I don't mind films with ambiguous endings/meanings/plots. I can stand a slew of filmmaking "mistakes". What I can't stand is a film that has contempt for its audience, and Southland oozes contempt. It doesn't even make a vague wave at coherence.
It might be easy to dismiss my extreme reaction as a result of the film's unrelenting assault on all things Republican, but the film is also unrelenting in its depiction of the loathsome "Neo-Marxists". Democrats get a pass; in fact, they're completely absent from the stage and conflict. On second thought, that may be the movie's most clever trick, commenting on a political party by rendering them completely absent. How apropos!
In any event, the Neo-Marxists are despicable in their own right, perfectly willing to sacrifice their own in some convoluted scheme to destroy capitalism and dethrone God. Good luck with that! In the end, it's all pointless as a random man with a random weapon destroys everything. Meanwhile, we wait for the metaphysical subplot to become the plot and bring it all together and instead we get semi-weepy eyes and an oozing eye socket, and it all ends with the line: "Pimps don't commit suicide." Wow, what a revelation.
Stupid things happen right and left, and plot-holes are a way of life. Southland faithful, if there are any, would note that the movie is actually the last three parts of a six-part graphic novel, and if you read the first three the film makes "more sense". To which I reply: Nonsense! The film is incoherent on its own terms. It's as though the director tossed a Scrabble set into the air and expected all the pieces to fall into place via the natural pull of gravity. You can tell me that the first three chapters accurately describe the box, but in the end it's a mess all over the floor.
There's a startling lack of talent on display. Southland is over-acted to a fault rather than to a stylistic point. To be honest, I found Dwayne Johnson rather affecting. But think about that. A former wrestler named The Rock does the best acting in the film! Rather than feeling like the director knew what he was doing and assembling a plotless ensemble piece, it feels like a wandering trip of lousy dialogue desperately attempting to disguise that there's no sort of attempt at a story.
It's been over 24 hours since I watched Southland and the memory keeps getting worse. In part this is because the original elements all sounded intriguing. It's an alternate universe story, which is always fun. It involves an energy source with limitless promise that is destroying the very fabric of space and time, and only one man with amnesia "knows"...and if he remembers it may cause the end of everything. Surround that with a nation driven to the insane level of paranoia because of twin nuclear attacks. For extra spice, add the conflicting desires and ambitions of several who want to achieve world domination. How can you go wrong with all that in place? Well, Richard Kelly shows how.
And in part I feel let down by Kelly, whose previous work, Donnie, I enjoyed. Despite all the other negative reviews I'd seen, I wanted to give Southland a chance only to find that nothing I had read was negative enough. Maybe I'm reacting this strongly because I'm a lover scorned. Or maybe it's because of the relentless and childish assault on all things Republican (come on, people, at least show some imagination in your insults). Or maybe it's all the above.
Bottom line: Southland Tales is pathetic. Worse, it's a squandered opportunity.
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