Skip to main content

Iowahawk, Sewer Side Chat

Iowahawk, Sewer Side Chat:

Questioner
Hi, I'm Josh Markin of the ESU Progressive Student Alliance, and I'd just like to say that as a campus activist for peace and justice, that I am totally down with how you have stood up against the fascist neo-Jew GPA thugs at A E Pi, and their plans for busting every grade curve on this campus.

Gromulak
Moje vznášadlo je plné úhorov Gromulak! Pun jegulja loma-làn!

Interpreter
These words please Gromulak! Continue your tribute, Hu-Man!

Questioner
Awesome! But I do have one problem. Warren continues to blame you and the mutant community for the sewage explosion that destroyed Baxter Hall in 2005, even though all the evidence points to an inside job! For example, did you know that sewage doesn't burn? Why did A E Pi have advanced warning? And what about the damage to Rec Building 7? All the facts are in this pamphlet! Why won't you come out and tell the truth that you are innocent, and that Warren's thugs blew up Baxter so he could plant illegal monitoring devices at the sewage pit, and jail mutants without a warrant, and...

Gromulak
Mia kusenveturilo estas plena da angiloj skeertuig is vol palings, loma-làn! Lije k'o iz kabla R'Qqharbok!

Interpreter
Your words grown tiresome like vines of cess algae, Hu-Man! Feast now on his pallid flesh, minions!

Questioner
Whoah! Don't eat me bro! Aaaaah! AAAAAAAH!!

 ROFLMAO!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Not the Hero We Deserve, But the Hero We Need

The Dark Knight is the best film I’ve seen in years. Not just the best “superhero” film, but the best film of any type. It’s not perfect, not quite a masterpiece, but it’s flaws are, to me, tiny and overwhelmed by the time the film ends. While relatively bloodless, it is consistently brutal, not just in what it depicts but in the themes that drive it. TDK is a film for adults, please leave the kids at home. Let’s deal with those “flaws” first, the largest being the character Rachel Dawes . In Batman Begins , I blamed Katie Holmes . Her acting was weak, to say the least, which is regrettable in that who she is and what she says and does are important to the film. Critics agreed and either for that or other reasons, Katie was replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal , who is a better actress. Yet here she’s weak, real weak. Maybe it’s the character, not the actress, which is frustrating because Rachel is a pivotal character. The film,...

John Wick: Chapter 4

No sense in playing coy, this is a great film. I’ve seen it twice and while I don’t quite love it in the way I love the first, original John Wick , it’s my #2. It’s a little overlong, has some wasted space and time, has one absolutely pointless and useless character, and generally ignores the realities of firefights, falling, getting shot, hit, etc. All that notwithstanding, it’s a great action flick, has a genuine emotional core, and is well worth your time if you’re into that sort of thing. Like I am. Summary: John Wick (Keanu Reeves), last seen saying he was fed up with the High Table, goes to war to obtain his freedom. Some of the most incredible action scenes ever filmed ensue, culminating in a very satisfactory finale and a devastating post-credit scene. The first Wick film was a surprise hit. It was a simple, straight-forward tale of vengeance told in a simple, straight-forward manner. Where it stood out was its devotion to human stunt work, on exploiting long camera shots that ...

We pause now for a minor rant…

“My car has a flat tire.” “You should buy a new car.” Every time I hear President Obama and other Democrats talking about “health care reform,” that’s what the conversation sounds like. A health care crisis is declared and the only solution is to replace the entire system. At most, around 15% of the American population is without health care insurance. Ignoring the fact that for most of them, this is a matter of choice, it also means that 85% are insured. And of that 85%, something like 70+% like their current coverage and don’t want the government to touch it. So for the vast majority, the current system works and works great. Yet, because of the minority for whom it allegedly does not...toss it all, start again. Admittedly, regardless of insurance coverage, it all costs too much, but again, the only accepted approach to controlling costs are to throw out everything and turn it all over to the government. Tactics that are proposed to address specific cost issues are not consid...