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I hear jokes, I do





Amazing. Start law school and out come the lawyer jokes. My two favorites to date are....



Two lawyers are stranded on a desert island. Once day, while wandering around their small domain, they come upon a beautiful blonde woman who has washed ashore. She's lying there, alive but unconscious, most of her clothes torn away. One lawyer turns to the other and says, "What do you think? Should we screw her?"



And the other asks in disdain, "Out of what?"
And then there's....



A lawyer picks up his brand new Lexus and he is as proud as proud can be. He pulls up in front of his office, and as he opens his door to get out, his Lexus is side-swiped by a speeding, passing car, completely ripped the driver's side door off! The lawyer jumps out in shock and anger. Using his cell phone, he calls 9-1-1 and frantically screams out the bare details of the accident. Within minutes, a police officer drives up. The lawyer throws down his phone and lights off on the officer, all emotion, very little thought, just thoroughly upset at what has happened to his car.



"Goddamnitalltohell, where have you been? Did you catch the guy? What are you going to do? I'm a lawyer, you know, and when I catch that bastard I'm going to -- "



The officer listens for a moment, looking the lawyer up and down, then holds up both hands. "Whoa, hold it right there." The lawyer sputters to a stop and the officer continues, "You know, you lawyers make me absolutely sick. You are so materialistic! You've been screaming about your Lexus, but did you even notice that your left arm is missing below the elbow, that your arm was probably torn off when that guy hit your car door?"



The lawyer looks down, sees the bloody stump, and his mouth goes slack in surprise just before he yells, "Ohmigod, where's my Rolex?!?"
Submitted for your amusement.

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